Two weeks after Halloween, our children still have candy. In this phase of candy consumption, most on the "good" candy is gone, so the "bad" candy is slowly being consumed out of a sense of duty. Last year we resolved this by requiring each child to throw away one piece of candy each time they ate one piece of candy. This unfortunately requires a lot of policing and reminding, and I did not feel up to the task this year.
DISLAIMER: I must say the the following was performed without the supervision of my wife (she was babysitting for a friend this evening). While she may like the results, she often doesn't condone my methods.
So how to get rid of the candy? This year I came up with a bold new idea. I asked Su to buy a bunch of the good candy that was cheap after Halloween. Here was the deal: no one got to partake of the new candy, until they relinquished their rights to their Halloween candy and turned it all in to the authorities (me). Of course, Tyra and Thomas mocked my plan and declared they would never give in, even after I ate five Reeses in a row. Lily was convinced that she would do whatever Tyra was doing.
That left Beth. That poor girl's candy supply had suffered the most from parental and sibling raiding already. So she correctly determined that it was a win for her. She declared that she would turn in her candy, even as Tyra was proclaiming, "Don't give in Beth! It is just a trick! You will lose all of your candy!" Instead of chewing old bubble gum and sucking on Smarties, Beth was now feasting on an assortment of chocolate bars.
"Would you like another Reeses Beth? How about a Three Musketeers? You can have as many as you want on the day you turn in your candy." So Beth feasted and feasted. Yes, I know this isn't great, but I was hoping this was only a one day affair. Within a half an hour, the cracks started to appear. Tyra approached me and asked, "Can I trade some of my candy for the good stuff?" "No." "But I have some good candy that I don't want to lose!" "Then eat it now, and then turn in your bucket." Beth came up and asked for another Reeses, which I happily provided. "Dad! You're killing me!", Tyra proclaimed.
At this point, Tyra and Thomas each sat down with their buckets and started eating. At first they enjoyed it, but by the tenth piece of candy they were each slowing down. Thomas said, "Dad, I don't want to eat all my candy right now." "Then don't.", I replied. "But I don't want you to eat it all." "Then don't give it to me." "But I want some of the new candy." So again I reminded him of the deal, and told him to decide which candy was better, his candy or my candy. "Your candy.", he muttered under his breath. He ate a couple pieces more and then said, "Fine. I give up. Here's my candy.", and dumped the remainder of his candy into my bag. After eating a Reeses or two, I asked him if he wanted any more. "No. I feel sick.", he replied.
Tyra was dying. Reeses were one of her favorites and everyone was "enjoying" them except for her. She knew the end was near. She had a couple more choice pieces and then turned in her candy. She also ate 2-3 Reeses and then "hit the wall". Yes, we were all close to a sugar coma at this point. Lily came in and couldn't believe that her heroine had caved. She was prepared for a long drawn out engagement. "I thought you weren't turning in you candy!", she scolded Tyra. Tyra responded with a shrug. "OK, then I am turning in my candy.", Lily declared. Since Lily didn't eat any of her candy before turning it in, she enjoyed eating the new candy bars much more than her siblings.
Game over! No more private stashes of candy. No more endless sucking of lolipops, jolly ranchers, lifesavers, etc. Just four kids sick from eating candy.
5 years ago
9 comments:
All I can say is that I can't believe that you people throw candy away. That is just wrong. Sick and wrong and it hurts me every time I read about it on people's blogs (most people do it! EVIL!!)
Just kidding. Sort of. But what an interesting method you came up with, Tom. Always a party at the Drapers. Sometimes even the kind where you eat so much candy you get sick. And also sometimes the kind where overseas relatives get jealous over the repeated mention of peanut butter cups. Thanks for that.
In raising Tom (the dad) at some point we (his parents) would offer to buy the excess candy at whatever "market price" we determined. As the kids grew older and smarter the "market price" inflated considerably. But from our point of view we would have still gone much higher if anyone would have effectively called our bluff. We're the ones who paid the dental bills.
Awesome. I love the psychology of it all. We are super excited to have you all visit!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is one awesome idea Tom! So let me get this right. They only got as much of the "good candy" as they wanted on the day they turned in their candy but not afterwards? It's just like kids to eat themselves sick first. Great idea! I think I might try that next year. That or your dad's idea of paying the kids for their candy. There's a dentist in town that does that but I don't know how much he gives for it. My kids almost would rather go for your idea and still get candy out of it. Thanks for the good laugh!! :)
You knoq it only took one Halloween of getting sick from eating too much candy and I've never wanted to eat too much again. Maybe it will have the same effect on your kids. You guys are the best!
Two years ago I used our halloween candy in Isaac's Birthday pinata. last year we kept it in the fridge and it lasted for 10+ months before I threw away what little was left.
So far this year, I've eaten all the choc., and I'm on to toostie rolls now. Not much left after that. Maybe I'll toss it. I feel gross.
Watching how the boys bounce off the walls after 2 pieces of candy and my recent diabetic ketoacidosis hospital trip is making me re-think sugar. How to give it up?
wahoo! are kids haven't figured where their candy disappears to yet. we pretty much let them have it it that night and into the next day. then it slowly begins to disappear as we throw away pieces we find laying around. (okay, and we probably nibble a few choice pieces)
I'll have to remember this technique though!
My mom just called to say she loved the "candy conflict" posting. It made her laugh and laugh. "It's so good Tommy ought to publish it!"
Hilarious! I just laughed out loud. Clever...very clever! You are better than us. We have always had a communutiy candy bowl, which stays on top of the fridge. After Halloween we just immediately go through the cheap, not so great candy without them knowing and get rid of it. Then we end up snacking on most of the good stuff, of course to make sure that the kids don't eat so much junk. Yes...we are quite the tryants. The candy tyrants. But so far none of the kids has caught on to it. They don't seem to mind.
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